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Funmi Iyanda
Lagos, Nigeria
Funmi Iyanda is a multi award-winning producer and broadcast journalist. She is the CEO of Ignite Media and Executive Director of Creation Television
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Monday, September 03, 2007

Balm on manic Mondays

Another manic Monday, I'm not in the mood to talk about our many "the rich also cry" wahala. Today I am going to walk around with a smile plastered to my face no matter what, l will not assimilate, I will not process and I certainly will not comment. What l will do is my usual Monday at the cinema ritual with my co conspirators' Remi and Jide. Why Mondays? Ticket is half price, popcorn is free baby! Cheapskates? Na you know o. Now Jide is a walking film encyclopedia, heck walking everything encyclopedia, the oversabi so and so. Remi is the delightfully dizzy, clueless one always asking you to explain a scene right in the middle of the film. I am the anal one studying the movie and compulsively quaffing bags of sugared popcorn. How will you recognize us? Jide is the eccentric one in his daily work uniform of black jacket, pants (Armani only, owns only 2 pairs by choice and will only replace them when threadbare, usually every decade since they are Armani) and regulation white marks and Spencer shirt. He harasses Remi everyday to begin doing a men's' black and white capsule work wardrobe applying her unique sense of cut, structure and detail. Remi is of course always in black skirt and top or the occasional kaftans, never trousers, never jeans. I always dress like an upmarket bag lady and harass Remi to go back to making monochrome jersey dresses and top. We are democratic film snobs, as we only demand that a film be true to itself, its genre and high production values. We will watch anything from anywhere and in any language as long as it meets those non-exacting criteria.
In an ideal world I and Jide would only got and watch movies at cinemas like the brilliant Ritzy (strange name for a place so cool and edgy) in Brixton. Now that is a true film lover's cinema. An upstairs bar, lounge, restaurant and bandstand. Comfy sofas in the seating areas. A wildly diverse (they have organic dark chocolate in Soya milk shakes!) food drinks and sweets menu. The films shown are just as intelligent and diverse from smart blockbusters to art house Indies usually preceded (on opening night) with some kind of gig. I always travel from whatever part of London I am to see movies at Ritzy.

Back to Lagos, it is Silverbird for me, granted it has a brassy, trashy aura but l like it there. I prefer it to the nu metro one at PALMS, which is just soulless and colourless. They both show similar movies and the selection is all round (understandably) poor in quality but at least Silverbird has a happy energy. So today, we will go and watch Rush Hour 3 (poor selection to choose from remember?) We have seen everything worthwhile on the line up sometimes more than once. I usually don't like to watch movies again unlike Jide who sees each at least twice and then buys the DVD of the exceptional one.

Recently we added Ratatouille to the buy in DVD list. Yes I know, animated film about rats in a kitchen? Improbable is the tamest word I can find now. The thing however is that ratatouille is bloody good; first, it is from Pixar, love Steve Jobs, love Incredibles. The animation is excellent, the dialogue is funny, the characters are a hoot and an improbably plot is made almost believable. I love it.

So as I pull out my sweater, (gosh, why is that cinema always so cold) on my way to a work lunch, I am mentally preparing for my Monday cinema out with my friends. Of course l will smuggle in extra food, (doesn't everybody?) Silverbird has no soy latte and ginger muffin (hint hint).

I wonder if the rush hour duo can stretch the joke to cover a 3rd movie, I shall have the answer in a few hours


princesa said...

Hmmm...watching movies on monday! Never tried it and probably wont get to know what its like unless am out of work.

Thank God am not the only one complaining about the chill in cinemas. Why do thy have to be sooooo cold?! I mean will it change the movie plot of the place was not that cold??

Have fun o jare.

jjc girl said...

Like you, I enjoy the social thing of going to the pictures with friends and scoffing lots of popcorn. Silverbird is cool but looks more like a teen hangout at weekends. The Palms is more Mum, Dad and 10 kids under 12, while the other place (forget what it's called) is just dead. Not so long ago we had no choice at all...

D-laj said...

hi funmi, i always enjoy your writing, would have said you write like me??? only am too lazy to write so there's really no comparison, ok let me say you write like i talk or is it you write like i think????..whatever
i always enjoy reading your posts

D-laj said...

hi funmi,
i always enjoy your posts....actually you write like i write???thats not true am too lazy to write, cant use the word "busy" or where do i find the time to check your blog.
keep up the good work....and why is silverboard always soooo cold??

Cheetarah said...

im feeling jide work uniform o, true the more you spend the longer it last plus the cut will be to die for. Reading this post made me miss home jare, I would trade Ritzy with you for sliver bird anyday!Minwhile never been there o,must check it out soonish.

How u dey?

Anonymous said...

Rush Hour 3 is excellent if you are looking for a good laugh. I saw it myself on sunday night.

Well have fun.

Anonymous said...

Please, out of interest i tried to find out some details about the company that won such a huge contract and can`t find anything but that it`s linked to the scandalous US congressman (Jefferson).
I beg you to please enlighten Nigerians about the company and it`s operations in the Energy Industry. As this is the first major contract of this administration and insight into what Nigerian should look forward to

Pumping! said...

Tuesday in Abuja is where you get the best Bargains. Why pay more when you can pay less.

U guys are lounging in Lagos she you have choices here we are stuck with Nu metro and 3 cinema halls only and a movie can be on air for like 6wks, as at last wk die hard was still showing.(Imagine)

I think the chill in the halls are on purpose it catalyses the cuddling if you are game for it.

Have fun jare!!

Emz said...

I think the cold in cinemans is to help freeze out the smells of people who don't find it necessary to maintain even the most basic levels of personal hygiene...so I take my sweater alright, but I'm grateful not to have to smell the feet of a random dude sitting behind me :)

Can't wait to see Ratatouille. How did you find Rush Hour? That opening scene was too funny!!

catwalq said...

Rush Hour 3: No, how many times can I see black+chinese+clueless in the city type jokes. Mba, will wait till it comes out on Cable

Ratatouille: went to see it. Twice! Loved it!!!

Soy Latte and Ginger Muffin: that's caucasian food. What is wrong with you?I am sending over my best boli and hot groudnut. This is horrible

Funmi Iyanda said...

@princesa, go after work, there are loads of stressed out, avoiding traffic corporate types on monday nights too.
@jjc, avoid Silverbird on weekends except sunday late night. l like young, young is good, mums and dads and kids? yeuch! sounds like surbuban hell :-) even the shrimp and her besto prefer silvy and yes how nice it is to even have one at least and now we have choices, can only get better, starting with bring them to ikeja and other parts of the city
@d-laj, and l talk like l write like l think like l ..jo start writing jare!
@cheetarah, c'mon try it out and tell me what you think.
@anonymous 1, yes you are right, it was fun.
@anonymous 2, this week l am not processing, l am tryng to restore my balance before l begin tear pant for road so perhaps next week l'll take it up
@pumping iron! una do o! he he he!
@ emz, intriguing, never quite saw it like that.
@catwalq, surprisingly it is funny o, abeg go and see it, this summer blockboasters and mashmallows have not been bad at all. As per boli and gnuts, you poor child, you miss them abi, will bring the nuts and show you how to grill passable boli at home. they are pipping hot "go slow" food for me not cinema food cos boli goes cold by the time l get to the cinema and that is just nasty.

jjc girl said...

Ikeja? Oh yes, that place on the way to the airport (if one doesn't take the helicopter) - LOL.
Watched your show this morning for the first time on a rare day off and really enjoyed it.(Can I make like a hater and say how dare you be even THINNER and MORE GORGEOUS than I thought!)
Have you any plans to air in the UK/ worldwide?
PS The word is pronounced SKI-TZO-FRE-NIC! At least the fact you didn't cut and re-record that bit shows you are REAL, so more power to you.

Anonymous said...

I started reading your blog a few months ago and became an avid reader ever since. last night i decided to read your archives and I must say you are truly innovative and pioneering as well. the rewards might not be a lot right now but years from now you will surely be remembered as one of those that paved the way for female journalists as oprah has done for tyra banks likes.
there are all kinds of causes here in the u.s. especially the dc region. i hope someday you will be tempted to host your shows here as well. goodluck and thank you for the inspiration.

Funmi Iyanda said...

@jjc, l go beat you o :-), no try mainland people, 2 real! No take style abuse me o calling me thin, tufiakwa who wan be bonga fish lol now. Edit? Gurl, me l wear my bloody heart and flaws on my sleeve jare, too much energy wasted otherwise. One day l'll see if you match my mental image of you. one day.
@annoymous, humbled, thanks for the coments, l know that one day it will all come together perhaps after l am gone, which is okay too.

laspapi said...

went to see RH3 8 days ago. I had a great laugh. I don't know why you'e calling my favourite hangout, "trashy". funmilola. Take time! I make the Galleria for movies at least 2ce a week, yeah, I go 'cheapskating' too. Still trying to synchronize my time to merge with yours, jide's and remi's. La'rer

pumping! said...

Saw RH3 and ratatouille on cheapskate tuesday and the chills paid off for me as i was game.

Really felt ratatouille as foodie concern, and rush hour is a good laugh.