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Funmi Iyanda
Lagos, Nigeria
Funmi Iyanda is a multi award-winning producer and broadcast journalist. She is the CEO of Ignite Media and Executive Director of Creation Television
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Friday, February 08, 2008

Heat rising (tongue firmly in my cheek)

I was doing a marathonshoot for my new spin off show when it was happening so I didn’t see that Cameroon had beaten her fourth host nation to make it to yet another final of the nations cup. I really should follow my heart as I had believed that Cameroon would be in the finals but allowed “ experts” like the giant to dissuade me. Yes I know they are not in the best shape but that has never been the point with the indomitable Lions, they play with their hearts and their might, improving with every game and until recently, they do it all wearing the tightest jerseys. I love them! That the hot favourites Cote De Voire is out is a shame but you have to give it to the Eyptians, they are sizzling. As I pack my bags to go and support Cameroon at the finals in Ghana, I am anticipating an incredible final between the mythical, mesmerizing pyramid building cradle of civilization and the gloriously indefatigable, powerful and unbending people of the sun. Forget about football technicalities, the final match on Sunday will belong to the team with the deepest will to win and my heart is with Cameroon.

It just so happens that my loins are also with them because I have the hots for Rigobert Song. As it happens the girls and myself have been having heated debates about which of the players are the most shaggilicious. The hottest favourites are Zidan (and half of the Egytian team) Agogo of Ghana and by my veto vote Rigobert Song. Forget the Eyptians as far as l am concerned, I like black men, I also like my black men to be dark coloured, no yellow pawpaw for me thank you. Now the girls are shouting me down over the doe eyed, tattooed man mountain Agogo and l agree that he is fine looking, a good player and a veritable national hero especially after that goal against Nigeria but I don’t like pin up boys. No matter how tight Beckam’s butt is or how golden his wife says his balls are, I have never had a shortening of breath about him. Agogo is on the go but he not only seem aware of that, he seem also aware of his pull. I can just see him in the gym pumping iron whilst showing off that beautiful artwork on his arm, besides he looks like a rugby player, those boys don’t do it for me. I like footballers, swimmers and short distant runners

Now Rigobert Song is a yellow man but I know when to adjust my irrational standards. You can tell he is no preening himbo, he looks like he spends 5 mins flat in the showers and keeps his dreads to avoid the barbers. Every inch of his sinewy body is cut as though by glass and at 31 (don’t know about that o) he is catlike in his reflexes, eyes fiery with focus and determination. He doest look pretty, he looks fierce, he doesn’t look like the boy your mama will instantly like but I bet he is more likely to be a committed partner and a bloody good lover. How do l know? I watch him play.

Song has played every minute of every one of the 32 Nations’ cup matches he has played for his country since 1996 with unflinching commitment and passion. He is an indefatigable leader of his team, always putting in 110% and never quitting until the final whistle. That is a good man, team player with attention to detail, focus, passion, commitment and staying power;-). He has a body to purr for, a spirit to kill for and the focus to hope on. I bet he is gentle when it maters. I do like a man to have a good head on his shoulders, a strong, fit body to hold the head up and the sort of spirit and heart that invents, improves and discovers. As a retirement gift, I hope Song leads his team into the caves of the pharaohs and come out lifting that cup one last time (yes I agree he needs to retire). If that happens, I will consider shagging him, a citizen duty.


Olukunle said...

wow...finally the Iron lady reveals the man who can make her pee in her p****...lol...

Omosewa said...

Lmao, i cant stop laughing o Aunty Funmi, all that from watching him play? Then i enlarged the pic, and the guy take style burewa...buhahahaha, sowwy.

Looking good in the pics. Happy new year and i hope Shrimp is doing great...

Anonymous said...

Spin-off show?

Please talk more about it!

Anyway, yes, Agogo is built like a star. He is very, very shagable. Eventhough I was sad to see Nigeria lose to Ghana, the best moment was when he took off his shirt after the goal. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Tayo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
iGwatala said...

Game over.


Thanks to Song.!!!

Anonymous said...

Madam Funim, this your description of Song if far too VIVID for my virgin eyes.........but I loved every line of it.

wienna said...

hehehe...sis funmi, so u got the hots for Song too. Chaai...we go fight for dis one till the end o. His dreads especially trips me. Really felt for his team. Agogo and Muntari too are just too fine in my book.

Funmi Iyanda said...

@all, no 1, una think say iron lady sef no dey go weak for knees? no 2, all the bed beluks, make una leave song alone jo, just one mistake, only makes him human, even more sexy.

@omosewa, l tell you say h fine before? you be small pickin, wen all those l too fine boys finish with you, you go know the wisdom in substance before cover :-). Anyway, monkey no fine, him mama like am.

@anonymous, coming soon;-)

@igwatala, and so nko? he remains eminently appealing and an undisputed champion:-).

@tayo, welcome home ;-)

@wienna, neva! l no it follow fellow woman fight over man, l go kuku share am lol.

Anonymous said...

Share am, o, Aunty wa? Ah, me ah no fit share my men o! Rather, my men share me, lol.... How about I add him to my harem and you, being honorable member that you are, can have unlimited access :-)