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Funmi Iyanda
Lagos, Nigeria
Funmi Iyanda is a multi award-winning producer and broadcast journalist. She is the CEO of Ignite Media and Executive Director of Creation Television
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Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Do You believe In Love?

FI is going through and doing so much recently partly because she has a world domination/messiah complex but also because I think she doesn't want to process some of the incidences of the past few weeks. So when l found this article written 9 years ago by a much more carefree FI, l thought to post it to remind her of herself. I know some of the old articles embarrass her so let's hope l still have my job when she sees this.......


I do believe that I have in my usual loud-mouthed manner declared my love for music to you (as though you care or should care). I’ll say it again anyway, whether it irritates you or not (this is my kingdom), I do so very much love music. I have no particular preference but I cannot stand hard-core rap, metallic rock or moronic deep country music, thank you very much. The music I listen to or dance to depends squarely on my moods. I love music from al cultures, all languages, all over the world, but the rule for me is this, the music must have life, soul and verve. I loved Latin music before the gorgeous Ricky Martin ignited the world with his delicious hip jerking, chest straining drop dead gorgeous form of salsa pop or the bodacious appeal of Jennifer Lopez or the sensational success of Carlos Santana. I love Makossa and most African influenced music that encourage the shake of the backside, the swirl of the skirts, the rolling of waists and shaking of chests; male and female is great for me.

My favourite singer is Tina Turner, she has such life, such vamp, every time you see or hear her, she exudes such energy and fun, it lights you up. No matter how bad a mood I am in, play Tina’s simply the best and if the environment is right, I would get on a table and do the hip swinging, leg kicking, hair shaking Tina dance.

Now, regardless of the type of music or its origin, I play premium attention to lyrics, I appreciate poetry and a well-constructed song gets me all the time (if it’s done in a language I can understand). Maybe I dislike hard-core rap and metallic rock because I mostly cannot ear what the heck they are yakking about and when I do they are insulting their mamas, celebrating violence, worshipping the devil of glorifying crime, careless sex and materialism. I have always been a sucker for love songs, burn me and scatter my ashes on river foolish but I have to admit it to you, I am a hopeless love song lover. I believe in love and pity people who die without experiencing true love. I have often heard people snigger about the existence of the kind of love that would inspire lyrics like this in Aerosmith’s song, I don’t want to Miss a Thing:

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing, watch you smile whilst you were sleeping, whilst you’re far away in dreamland, I could spend my life in the sweet surrender, I could stay lost in this moment forever. ‘Cos every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure. Don’t want to close my eyes, don’t want to fall asleep cause I’ll miss you girl, and I dont want to miss a thing. If you have never felt like this about anybody and are unwilling to, you have not lived.

Asked to give his thoughts on love, the eighteen-century scholar and philosopher Khalil.. said, love will give your life and it will kill you but how dare you live your life without experiencing it.

An indefinable emotion, love like life is paradoxical, it is so wonderful but so fragile. Like life, the moment it is born, it starts to die. It is as though it is not meant to be. A baby, born today, all wonderful, all good, and all precious. Then immediately the forces to take that life begin to encroach, the quality and quantity of the life before it dies is dependent on how you treat that fragile gift all your life. Often times, the factors that determine its quality and/or longevity are out of our control. It is the same with love. It will give you joy which is indescribable but it will give you unimaginable pains too. From the moment of birth, forces of death start to encroach, finances, work, family, race, health all will conspire to kill it. However like life, love never really dies, it changes form and subject but it lives forever. Death in one form does not distract itself from the beautiful gift of life that it is.

Can one fall out of love? Yes I think but it is not so much that you no longer love the other it is that the forces of death have conspired to force a change of form in that love. You never really stop loving anyone you felt true love for, if the pain overpowers the joy, then love changes form and you move on. Perhaps you will get luck and find another. Perhaps not, but my friend, I tell you, do not dare go through life without experiencing all the agony and joy of love. This wonder has nothing to do with marriage (which may be one of the factors anyway), a few lucky ones for whom they feel the gift of love, but like all things precious, it is rare. That however is all the more reason to appreciate love when it chooses you, a bit of heaven and hell on earth, a wonder, to balance it the love songs (no be say I no dey hear yawa music at all o) I listen to the likes of Betty Wright and Millie Jackson. That way one learns to laugh at love and all the foolishness it engenders but never let it be said that it never happened to you.

I am an incurable believer in love, if I have to convince anyone any more about its existence such a one is not worthy of my time or cursor. If love changes for me, I will try again, if it burns me, I will display the scars proudly for my next adventure. It kills me, I will rise again for what is life? Life? Love? Somehow, I don’t see the difference, do you? Just play another love song. Someone is bound to wonder if I am freshly in love or something of the sort. Well, perish the thought. I have been looking through my CD collection and at the myriad of ways people have tried to articulate a truly enigmatic emotion and decided to contribute my bit.

I will never be a bitter old woman disillusioned by love, heck no! I will celebrate love with all its palaver and tell hilarious stories of great loves and love gone awry in my last days. That is my hope.

12 comments:

aloted said...

wow..this was surely a nice read about love...

hmmmmmm..yes I believe in Love :)


thanks for sharing...

ShonaVixen said...

enjoyed reading this...and yup i believe in love!!

Anonymous said...

Too right. I sooooo believe in love. I have loved deeply and lost only recently and sometimes I think the love was kinda one-sided but I wouldn't change the experience for anything...

Anonymous said...

Bless your heart Mutiu, thank you. This is a wonderful article and I'm sure it will cheer Funmi up. She's lucky to be surrounded by collaborators like yourself who love her and try to protect her interests. She no fit fire you ojare.

ayomide said...

UHMMM......I Like it!

Ms Funmi is such a gifted soul...her choice of words is second to none.....

....come soon!

Mutiu...well done!..please dig deep into d archives and rescue some write ups that needs to be heard again!

uchevelli said...

well, wonderful write up on love. you must agree with me that they dont do love songs these days like they do it back in the days... the good old days...
i believe in love too... do i have a choice? Nice one.

Anonymous said...

U cant save the world but u can touch the world through love.

lucky said...

Love is divine in nature, love is spiritual, and not something you can touch with your hand ...................

that is a beautiful piece, thank you.

lil' spider said...

Very real. Thanks for echoing my self critised stand on real life and its many shades. Love's for real and so are the attendant consequences per circumstance - pain, excrutiating pain, and bliss, incomprehensible!
Like they say, life's jus' a female dawg!

edundayo said...

What an inspiring post; informative and interesting. I wonder how this World would have been without those four AMAZING letters L.O.V.E.

I don't think there's anything else I believe in as much as I believe in LOVE, oh yes! I remember now! GOD. But wait, GOD is LOVE!

Therefore, I can never stop believing in L.O.V.E

Great Post. HATS OFF!

Anonymous said...

Beautiful read, thanks. Funmi has it in her to be wonderfully poetic. This touched a chord in me because i've just fallen in love with someone "totally unsuitable" but it's the best thing i've ever had so i'm not letting go. thanks again for inspiration.

Ayokunle said...

Now i do!